I just realized I stopped caring a long long time ago... but I never found anyone who did. I somehow always managed to find people who cared far more than my liking. And maybe that's exactly why we grew apart. And just as I was beginning to see what it's like, just as I was starting to notice the people that could show me what it should be like, I had to leave. And so the cycle began...
I don't get it. I don't understand why I have to be so afraid of saying some of the things I have to say. A friend dreamt that I was hiding under the table... Am I really like that? Hiding every second of my life, scared of something that doesn't exist? Every second, not wanting to say something because it might be hurtful? Every second, hiding, dreaming of my perfect life and not taking a fucking step forward? Is this my life? A DREAM? I'm not going to be the audience, sitting on the balcony seat, witnessing my life unfold in front of me on the stage. I'm not going to let anyone but ME direct the show. It's my show, and I'm in charge. I will do ANYthing I want and no one will have a say. That's my life for you.
