i feel so empty right now... it's not like feeling depressed, or the feeling you get when you hate absolutely everyone even your closest friends and family... it's not even that something's bothering you... well not to a point that you break down anyways... there's definitely something that's bothering you, but everything's so surreal at the same time that you can't even feel the pain it could potentially cause... as if your using some kind of inhibitor that prevents the reaction from reaching the maximum... and it's precisely at these moments in my life that i can say anything i want, to whoever that appears in front of me... i can say anything without feeling out of place... i can crush people if i choose to, i can be nice to them even if they are being annoying cause i will actually be able to remember all the good things in the past, i can yell at them, i can laugh, i can go quiet, i can tell them exactly what's bothering me... but at the same time, it feels so unimportant... so timeconsuming... so worthless..
and everything's so different, it's something that happens so rarely that i fight so hard to hold on to it... it's emptiness, but it helps me relate...
i wish i had this yesterday... then i could've told him that he's wrong... i could've asked him to stop being wrong...
