وبلاگهايی
که وقت ندارم بخونم، ولی هرجور شده ميخونم!
Saturday, May 15, 2004
ignorance... hurts... neverending pain... does it ever end? of course not idiot... it's "neverending" pain! sigh... you see who i have to put up with every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year of every lifetime? ciao
-Seize the day... -I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world... -I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life! To put to rout all that was not life... And not, when I came to die, discover that i had not lived... -Conformity... The difficulty of maintaining your own belifs in the face of others... -We all have a great need for acceptance but you must trust your beliefs are unique, your own... even though others might find it odd or unpopular... And my personal favorite: -"Two roads diverged in a wood and i took the one less traveled by... and that has made all the difference..."
My mouse stopped working... I can't type in Farsi anymore... My computer keeps shutting itself down... and i'm sitting here in my chair, staring at the monitor, at the words i've written, and wonder... wonder why i'm here... wonder why i'm not stepping forward when i know i have to do something, anything... even as small as a phone call...
------
she runs back inside. she shuts the door behind her. she's angry. oh no, not just angry. she's very angry. she's furious. she's never ever been so insulted before... no, that'd be lying. she has heard worse. but hearing everything come out of his mouth was painful... more painful than the time she cracked her head open... more painful than not seeing him... gosh, how could he not believe not seeing him was painful? how could he doubt it? how could he think of her the way he did? after all they'd been through, how could he say that? tears came rolling down... tears of anger, hatred, forgotten passion... tears of sadness came rolling down the cheeks of an unforgiving child... grudges don't go away... they pile up... she was in love, her love was so blinding that the tiny pile seemed like a hole to her... she couldn't see it... she was too busy looking up, singing in the rain and thanking God for what he'd given her... but it wasn't long before the hole couldn't hold it in anymore... it burst... nothing could stop her from running away from the mountain... she ran... as fast as she could... but a runner doesn't deserve the harshness she heard in his voice...
she deserved to be yelled at, she deserved to be forgotten, she deserved to be the enemy, she deserved to not be spoken to because she didn't have anything interesting to say anymore, she deserved to be judged, she deserved to be anything in the world he wanted her to be... but she did not deserve to hear it from him... she did not deserve to look and see what made her suffer more than ever...
----
Did you hear her??? yes, i'm talking to you... she did not deserve it...
she wondered if she'll ever see him again... will she?
نمیدونم چم شده... تو این چند روز دارم به ازای 8 ماه گذشته گریه میکنم... انگار هر روزی که میخواستم گریه کنم، اشکهام رو گذاشتم رو hold و بهشون گفتم که اوایل may سرازیر شن... And now my tears are due… Can’t hold them in any more…
